Thursday, October 14, 2010


I'm still reeling over the after effects of deleting my past, more or less. Its interesting to throw out things that I vividly remember, though the memory itself is meaningless. I'm fascinated by how torn up I am about it. This behavior is generally no bueno.

I've decided that I'm going to be hardheaded about this gearbox thing, trying everything within my powers to get me noticed in the next year, and trust me, those powers are in fact vast and... powerful. That was terrible. I apologize.

I'm taking another crack at programming things, I don't know how serious I'll get about it again, but it never hurts to stay frosty.

Sooner than later, I plan on getting a band scrambled together in the hopes to regain some sort of self respect. Lord knows I need some.

Perhaps I'm being too ambitious.

A good friend of mine, Nathan Grayson, thinks (foolishly) that I have some writing chops and that I should try my hand at that. Maybe I will.

There's way too many maybes in this blog post already. Time to get DEFINITIVE.

I am currently enrolled in a D&D campaign set in the wild west. I play an half-elf undertaker who's family was raped and murdered. Tall, looming, morbid, apathetic. Should be interesting.

It's almost time to get back to all this mess. Goddamn.

It should be noted that I am actively trying to make my life better, only asking help from a selective few, none of which have responded. Turns out that making your life better is an uphill battle. I've dealt with being alone a long, long time, I just had hoped that my turn at this would be over already.

Oh, and in case you happened to stumble upon this blog, or I directed you at it, the only reason I'm vehemently pursuing this Gearbox job is because it seems like it'd be a helluva lot of fun while also being challenging. There's no challenge to delivery driving anymore, lest we forget the horrible conditions in which one has to be a delivery driver. On the plus side, I have ascertained the skills to basically be "The Stig". Back to Gearbox, I'm not doing this because I'm some die hard fan. I loved Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway, I think it was one of the best video game portrayals of WWII, rife with emotion. Borderlands is more than a metric shitton of fun. Its a metric^2 shitton of fun. That doesn't mean I went so apeshit for the game that I said to myself, "OH SWEET GOLLY GEE WILLICKERS, I WANTSA WORK HERE!" Hardly. If I was going to do something of that caliber, it would probably directed towards Bungie or Bioware. To me, fun is the most important thing in life. If you're not having fun, you're certainly pissing your life away. What's the point of ascertaining money? It's pointless to you when you're dead and gone. Well, I take that back. The pulp from it may make beautiful fertilizer for the flowers on your grave.

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