This so-called life.

I'm just sitting here, right now, listening to ska music. I do have to say, I am enjoying myself. All seems right with the world. It's been a while since my grandfather has passed, and I think I'm pretty much over it, as over it as I can be. I told my mother tonight that I looked at granddads situation differently. The man survived cancer once 13 years ago. He was able to get 13 more years out of his life. Most people that are that old and get cancer can't beat it, let alone beat it handily, as he so did. I think of the small graces that were given because of this. My sister wouldn't have had someone to see her frequently, I wouldn't have had a father figure growing up, two of my cousins would have never met the man that made them feel most at home. Truly, those 13 years were amazing.

As an aside, I told my friends that I would dedicate most of this post to this one, interesting and unique woman that I've enjoyed conversing with recently. Talking to her is best described as fencing hand in hand. There's a sense of close delicacy, yet the infinite joy of rapier wit. Parries and flourishes abound. I happened to have picked up coffee from the Starbucks she worked at on New Years eve, and a somewhat odd, yet enjoyable conversation followed, wherein she claimed that working on New Years Eve was punishment for being bad. I joked that I couldn't recall anything I did that was exceptionally "evil" except for that 'Angry box of kittens that I threw at those nuns.' Chuckles were had.

See, the unfortunate thing about having anxiety is that I can do the flirting, I can do the casual this-that and the other, but when it comes to following through, asking for a number, I freeze up. To put it visually, it's like running with someone, only to look up at the last second and see that there's a brick wall in front of you. How did it get there? Man, that is an impressive wall, and I swear, it came out of nowhere. I should probably not run into that wall and look like a fool right? Righ-where did she go? I guess she couldn't wait for me.

But dear sweetness, she would be a catch.

Trying to man up for it would be... probably beneficial.

Anyways, Aquabats show coming up soon. Aww yeah.

Where was I? Where am I.

Ok, so, you see, apparently everyone is under the impression that I'm a good writer. Hilarious.

Certainly this blog isn't meant to be anything awe-inspiring tonight, merely just the ramblings of the Rude Boy deliverator.